Kim Davis Has Been Freed

September 8, 2015 / Posted by:

After being locked up in the clink for 5 days, Kim Davis, the clerk from Rowan County, KY who was found in contempt for not giving marriage licenses to same-sex couples, was released from her cell and is back to terrorizing the public with her grade F- eyebrow situation. I haven’t seen any pictures of Kim leaving jail yet, but I’m sure she’s got 3 teardrop tattoos on her cheek. Each teardrop tattoo represents a prison guard she got engaged to, had a baby with, married and divorced while locked up. It was a slow 5 days for her.

According to AP, U.S. District Judge David Bunning, who gave Kim her Go To Jail card, ordered her immediate release today, because five out of six of her deputies have been issuing marriage licenses to all couples while she’s been in jail. Mike Huckabee’s homegirl swears she’ll never resign, but she has agreed to take her name off of marriage licenses and let her deputies continue to issue them. Judge David let Kim know that she will go back to jail if she tries to fuck with the law again:

The judge’s order, filed Tuesday in U.S. District, says Davis shall not interfere in any way, directly or indirectly, with the efforts of her deputy clerks to issue marriage licenses to all legally eligible couples.

Davis had refused to grant licenses to any couples, gay or straight, since shortly after the U.S. Supreme Court effectively legalized gay marriage.

Bunning’s order says that if Davis should interfere in any way with her clerks issuing the licenses, “that will be considered a violation of this order and appropriate sanctions will be considered a violation of this Order and appropriate sanctions will be considered.”

Please, this circus is far from over. Now that Kim Davis has gotten a taste of the spotlight, she’s going to extend her 15 seconds and put on A SHOW! When the new Anita Bryant goes back to the office, the glorious golden hair wave of one of her deputies is going to deflate as she throws the doors open and declares all of her employees dork-sided traitors as she voids all marriage licenses before the police drag her back to jail kicking, screaming and praying. She’s going to give a campy tour de force performance. I just hope the cameras catch all of it, because I’m going to need to see the drag queens recreate it onstage.

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