Hot Slut Of The Day!
Denis, the drag queen superstar from Israel who is so famous that she can do a cereal ad without even mentioning the cereal’s name.
Branflakes is a cereal marketed toward women in Israel and it’s for women, because, just like Special K (the cereal, not the bad shit you did in the early aughts at the club), it’s supposed to help you lose some fat. Also, the flakes are lighter, because women aren’t strong enough to lift regular flakes. Instead of getting a skinny model to brag about how she got skinny from eating fucking cereal, Branflakes hired Denis (who sometimes goes by Denize), an A-list queen who was famous long before Kermit the Frog’s home wrecking hussy harlot hog whore hit the stroll.
In the video for the ear worm of a song titled “Denis Denis,” the hybrid of Mario Cantone and Lady Gaga (although, you know Lady Gaga stole her visuals and the hair bow idea from Denis) sings about the struggles of being a big, beautiful perfect 10 queen.
There must be some Illuminati-like subliminal messages in that ad, because I don’t even know what Branflakes taste like and I want some. I’d much rather be eating a bowl of weight-loss cereal than the Toaster Strudel frosting I’m squirting directly into my mouth. No, I wouldn’t, but “Denis Denis” is still the real song of the summer.
(For Caitlin)