QOTD: CoCo Is Afraid Of What’s Going To Happen To Her Petite Vagina During Labor

September 3, 2015 / Posted by:

CoCo’s camel toe is such an enormous natural wonder that the last time I flew over NYC, the pilot told the people on my side of the plane to look out their window and gaze at her glorious toe. We didn’t need binoculars or anything! Even though CoCo’s camel toe is a massive historical monument that can be seen from space, she says she’s actually very small down there. CoCo, who is currently knocked up, tells InTouch Weekly that she’s always been afraid of pushing out a baby, because she doesn’t want her teeny tiny pristine vagine to go from petite filet to hanger steak. Maybe this is her way of telling us that Ice-T’s about as hung as a Jon Gosselin.

“If I could avoid actually giving birth, I’d probably have like five children. This makes people laugh, but I’m very petite down there. I’m prepared for pain, I just don’t want to go through all the dramatics of ripping.”

CoCo really has nothing to worry about. I did the research. Since CoCo is our modern day Virgin Mary and her child, Chanel Nicole, is our new messiah, I looked up what the birth of Jesus was like. The version I read said that Mary had a “miraculous birth” and that Jesus passed through her the way “light passes through a window.” Mary didn’t go through all the dramatics of ripping! So yeah, it’s totally going to be like that and CoCo’s precious camel toe is going to remain beautifully intact. Praise the lord!

Pic: Wenn.com

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