Archives: September 2015

Ariana Grande Latte And Miley Cyrus Can’t Sit With Taylor Swift And Her Girl Squad

September 1, 2015 / Posted by:

Miley Cyrus recently said that she doesn’t want to be in a “squad,” because she likes to surround herself with non-famous rill people who are rilly rilly rill and keep it 100% rill at all times. Well, if America’s foremost journal of truthiness known as Radar is spitting up the facts, then the feeling is mutual and cult leader Taylor Swift doesn’t want Miley in her sisterhood.

Idris Elba Is “Too Street” To Play James Bond, So Says The Author Of The Latest Bond Novel

September 1, 2015 / Posted by:

Panty Creamer Hall of Famer Idris Elba has long been talked about as the one who should replace Daniel Craig as James Bond and he has said before that he’s into it and even Sony’s ex-co chairman Amy Pascal is for it. But one trick who is totally not into it is the author of a James Bond novel whose name isn’t Ian Fleming. Anthony Horowitz, the author of the newest Bond book Trigger Mortis (I both love and hate that title), tells The Daily Mail that Idris Elba is “too street” to play James Bond. According to him, “too street” isn’t code for “too black.” Anthony can name other black actors who should play Bond (Adrian Lester is one, he says), but Idris isn’t one of them.

“Idris Elba is a terrific actor, but I can think of other black actors who would do it better. For me, Idris Elba is a bit too rough to play the part. It’s not a colour issue. I think he is probably a bit too ‘street’ for Bond. Is it a question of being suave? Yeah.”

Anthony also thinks Skyfall is the worst Bond movie ever, he didn’t like Quantum of Solice and he thinks Ian Fleming’s Bond novels are “too slow.” If his ass also said that Denise Richards is the worst Bond girl of all-time, I’d really raise a pitchfork at him!

But Anthony does think Daniel Craig is a great James Bond. Okay, so if Idris is “too street,” then what in the hell is Daniel Craig? Daniel Craig is way more street than Idris Elba. One of the reasons I like Daniel Craig as Bond is that he’s both suave and rougher than Miley Cyrus’ voice. Dude looks like he’s been shanked in the face several times during bar fights, stole all of the suits he wears and will directly spit on your genitals if there isn’t any lube around. That’s one way I like my Bond.

And Idris Elba never struck me as street at all. He looks like he came out of his mom’s vagina while wearing a tuxedo.


Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 1, 2015 / Posted by:

Eric, the asshole bird from Australia who doesn’t mince words when fighting with a dog.

Screw that manufactured beef between Nicki Minaj and Miley Cyrus. This is the kind of beef the Internet wants, needs and deserves.

Cats just got themselves an unlikely ally in their never-ending war against dogs. Over in Australia lives Eric, a dirty bird with a mouth like a Dlisted commenter. As his human Sharon Curle recorded on her phone, Eric got into a little tussle with the family dog and it seems like his troublemaking ass started it. Eric’s human tells him to calm down, stop spitting and let the dog live its life. Eric doesn’t listen and when the dog fights back, he shoots out a cunt bomb from his beak. Oh Eric, if there was a Dlisted School of Language Arts, you’d be our valedictorian.

The Internet has lied to us and played with our emotions too many times, so there’s a part of me that thinks some ventriloquism shit is going down and a human is saying those words. But if it’s true, then Eric needs to be on a reality TV show now. I don’t know if he lives anywhere near Melbourne, but he should be on Real Housewives of Melbourne. He spits at tricks, calls them “cunts” and he works a smoky eye better than all of the birds on that show. He’s perfect!

via Facebook (For Joanne and Laura)


Birthday Sluts

September 1, 2015 / Posted by:

Scott Speedman (40)
Zendaya Coleman (19)
Bill Kaulitz (26)
Tom Kaulitz (26)
Chanel West Coast (27)
Babydaddy of the Scissor Sisters (39)
J.D. Fortune (42)
Ricardo Chavira (44)
Rachel Zoe (44)
Padma Lakshmi (45)
Gloria Estefan (58)
Dr. Phil (65)
Barry Gibb (69)
Lily Tomlin (76)

Pic: Jane/Glamour


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