The Canadian Jesus Brought The Raw Emotion After His VMAs Performance

August 31, 2015 / Posted by:

You can always count on Justin Bieber to give us a Photoshop perfect picture that’s just itching for Usher to be slipped into.

Judging by that picture above, you may be thinking that the Biebs suffered from a severe case of constipation last night and was scared that it would mess with his potty training classes (he’s come so far!), but he wasn’t suffering from the hard shits. After performing during the MTV VMAs, the Biebs bent over and got so emotional. Anybody who sat through his performance cried with him, because they couldn’t believe that they hate themselves enough to sit through that whole thing.

But seriously, the Biebs recreated The Difficult Brown’s “crocodile tears of a d-bag” act, because it’s the perfect way to end his douche redemption tour. Justin was also touched by his own brilliance, his amazing skills in that bootleg Pink acrobat bit, his fortune cookie monologue and his impeccable dancing, which was very “toddler who really has to take a piss while playing Dance Dance Revolution.” Click to the end if you want to see Justin Bieber transform into a real-life Tender Tears Baby Doll.

Justin also released the video for his new song “What Do You Mean?” last night and I made it about 90 seconds in before I stopped watching. I don’t want to get a visit from the FBI because I watched Justin Bieber hump on some model.

And here’s Justin Bieber working his new wave guinea pig hairstyle last night. He probably thinks he’s giving us Leonardo DiCaprio in the 90s, but he’s really giving us Kate Gosselin if Kate Gosselin was an assistant manager at Urban Outfitters. That hairstyle is also dangerously close to making him look like he’s about to go into an Apple store to scream about how AppleCare told him that he could walk into the store and get the part.

Pics: Getty,

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