Many of us dry barfed for days when a song from Tyga called “Pleazer” was spat up onto the Internet and we listened to him bragging about doing statutory rape shit and rapping about drinking vagina juice in the morning like it’s orange juice. (Surprisingly, Tropicana hasn’t used “Pleazer” in a commercial yet.) The shell-less turtle tried to act like those poetic lyrics weren’t about his girlfriend Kylie Jenner, but his mouth is a bona fide lie machine, so nobody believed his denials. Since Tyga knows that the only time people pay attention to his music is when he raps about humping on newly legal Kylie, he did it again.
As Gawker points out, Tyga recently butt squirted out a new mixtape called Fuk What They Talkin Bout and on it is a song called $tiumlated. In that song, Tyga’s mouth dribbled out these words (Warning: These lyrics may make your genitals run up into your body):
They say she young
She should have waited
She a big girl, dawg, when she stimulated
And a little later on in the song, he brought the grossness again by dropping this dingle:
She a big girl dawg,
I’m puttin’ in,
Yeah I’m penetrating
So poetic. So pure. Tyga should use his talents to write a musical. Woody Allen can write the book for it, Roman Polanski can direct and Subway Jared can provide the catering during rehearsals. Josh Duggar already has his credit card out and is waiting to buy a ticket.
Pimp Mama Kris must be so proud and that was served without one ounce of sarcasm. I’m sure she temporarily took her mouth off of the virgin she feeds off of to text Kylie with: “Awww, my little moneymaker is inspiring great musicians. Proud of u and don’t forget to tell Tyga that I’ll take my 50% cut in cash.”
And here’s the blueprint for Kylie’s life leaving a restaurant yesterday.