My brain is a wet mound of useless information and I usually know whose genitals are currently touching, but either I didn’t know or I forgot that nerd boner-inducer Alison Brie and Dave Franco are a thing. Dave and Alison have apparently been bumping nipples full-time since early 2012 and now she’s going to be James Franco’s sister-in-law. I don’t know how this happened, but it’s happening. E! News has a picture of Alison at the premiere of her new movie Sleeping With Other People and on her hitchin’ finger is an engagement ring. Alison’s rep told E! that it’s true.
I can exclusively report that the Community star and Neighbors funny man are engaged. Brie’s rep confirms the big news.
Brie, 32, and Franco, 30, have reportedly been dating since January 2012. The two have remained tight-lipped about their relationship. In fact, they’re so private that it’s difficult to find photos of the two of them together. In the spring, they both attended the Met Gala, but didn’t walk the carpet separately
They’ve been together for over 3 years, which is 100 years in Hollywood time, so they probably figured that they had a good run and should ruin their relationship by getting married. No, I’m sure they’ll be together forever as long as Alison knows that no matter how hard she tries, she’ll never fuck Dave Franco as good as Dave Franco fucks Dave Franco.
And hopefully during their wedding ceremony, the officiant will make Alison repeat the words, “I promise to love you, cherish you and prune your overgrown Eddie Munster brows with a damn machete.”