“You know, I was sure I wanted to nickname him Lil’ Chokey, but after seeing this picture, I might be leaning more towards Crazy Eyes” though Emile Hirsch’s cellmate for the next 15 days.
Back in January, Emile Hirsch, the sometime actor and friend of Shia LaBeouf (four words which tell you everything you really need to know about Emile Hirsch), was arrested during the Sundance Film Festival after he got a little too boozy and a little too handsy with a Paramount executive named Dani Bernfeld. A few days after he was arrested, Emile packed his bags and slipped off to rehab. And now it’s time for him to pull out his suitcase once again, because he’s shuffling off to jail for the next two weeks.
According to Variety, Emile Hirsch plead guilty to choking out Dani Bernfeld on Monday and was sentenced to 15 days in jail, paying a $4,750 fine, and performing 50 hours of community service. Usually putting someone in a chokehold qualifies you for a maxium five year prison sentence, but for some reason, Emile dodged that bullet. Additionally, the assault charges will be dismissed once he completes his sentence.
Emile told the judge on Monday that there was “no excuse” for his behavior and that putting Dani Bernfeld in a chokehold was “wrong” and “reckless“. Even though it sounds like he’s learned that choking is a no-no, I really hope he doesn’t slip up after his 15 days in jail. Maybe one of his A-list actor pals could watch over him once he gets out and make sure he doesn’t do violence. Like Shia LaBeouf? Errrr, on second though. Ooh, what about his Into the Wild director, Sean Penn? Uh…yeah, no. Wait, I got it – how about his Lone Survivor co-star Mark Wahlberg? Shit. Emile, you might be on your own, buddy.