It’s a good thing that the most gorgeous creature in Hollywood and beyond, Angelyne, always demonstrates the pure definition of ladylike behavior, because if she spread open her legs while getting out of her chariot of elegance, a rhinestone-encrusted pink rainbow would’ve shot out of her precious vagine and blinded everyone with its beauty.
The porcelain spawn of a Lisa Frank pug and Aphrodite caused temperatures in L.A. to rise to scorching levels the other day when she strut her beauty through a parking lot. My guess is that Angelyne, being the charitable angel that she is, was on her way to a home for the less glamorous to teach them how to burn eyeballs with their exquisiteness by wearing Dollar Tree wedges, stunning dresses bought at a Contempo Casuals going-out-of-business sale in 2001 and feathers stolen from a flamingo.
Speaking of burning eyeballs…
I was in NYC this past weekend for a wedding (yes, I pushed the flower girl out of the way to get to the bouquet) and I figured that since I’m out here, I might as well go to the beach since it’s been a long time since I’ve blinded East Coasters by sunning my half-naked slug body while guzzling down a Bacardi Breezer hidden in a Gatorade bottle. So while I do that, J. Harvey and Allison are covering for me. I’m still posting here and there, but I’ll be back full-time on Thursday.
In the meantime, singe your eyelashes on the pink flames of perfection shooting off of Angelyne.