Fatties, Trash, Olds And Lesbians Have No Business Wearing The Bandage Dress, So Says Herve Leger’s Managing Director (UPDATE)
The last time I was in Las Vegas, I was nearly hit by a giant wave of ladies of all shapes, sizes and ages suffocating their internal organs while squeezed into knock-off Herve Leger bandage dresses. That sight must be the recurring nightmare that Patrick Couderc, the director of Herve Leger UK, has, because he thinks that only refined, young, straight and skinny women should be allowed to wear the bandage dress. Paging Kunty Karl! Paging Kunty Karl! You better make a baby cry or suck the soul out of a young model, because this Patrick asshole is coming for your title as biggest cunt in fashion.
There was a time when nearly every trick in Hollywood wore the bandage dress by Herve Leger, but now it seems like that dress is over and you’ll only find it on the body of a Real Housewife who’s on a budget. But in the ball of delusion that Patrick calls a brain, he thinks that the bandage dress is still in demand and also thinks that it should come with a label that reads, “Not For Fats, Lezzies Or Old Bitches.” Patrick barfed up these dingles in an interview with The Daily Mail:
On how only skinnies with tits should wear the bandage dress: Patrick Couderc has urged ‘voluptuous’ women and those with ‘very prominent hips and a very flat chest’ to steer clear of the £1,300 creations.
On how lesbians shouldn’t buy the bandage dress because they’ll be much more comfortable in a Home Depot t-shirt and a flannel: “If you’re a committed lesbian and you are wearing trousers all your life, you won’t want to buy a Leger dress. Lesbians would want to be rather butch and leisurely.”
On fame whores and reality tricks wearing it: “You can be a victim of your success.”
On the dangers of fatties and olds wearing it: “You women have a lot of problems. You will lose the plot. You will come and you will put a dress on and you’ll be in front of the mirror, like, ‘Argh, I’m so fat.’ Yes, you have a 12th of an inch around your stomach, it’s not really a disaster, and what you’re not noticing is that your cleavage is about two inches too low because you are 55 and it’s time that you should not display everything like you’re 23.’ Although the bandage dress, he said, could provide useful support in this case.”
The biological father of Snobby Saleswoman #2 from Pretty Woman has been found!
The hell kind of business man is this Patrick bitch? He needs to take business advice from any successful hooker: “If you’ve got the cash, I’ve got the ass to sell.” He should sell that dress to anybody who will buy it. Maybe this is some kind of scheme? Maybe Patrick is an undercover spy for Herve Leger’s rival company and he’s saying all that stupid nonsense so that sales will plummet and the label will go out of business. I don’t think Chanel is one of Herve Leger’s competitors, but this Patrick mess does sound like he was schooled in the art of saying insane shit by Kunty Karl.
UPDATE: A rep for BCBG Max Azria Group, the company that owns Herve Leger, issued a statement saying that Patrick Couderc wasn’t their employee. He worked for the British distributor of Herve Leger in London and now he doesn’t anymore.
“The Herve Leger by Max Azria brand and its parent company, BCBGMAXAZRIA Group, are shocked and appalled by Patrick Couderc’s comments made in the Mail on Sunday. BCBGMAXAZRIA Group is working in concert with MJH Fashion, the London-based licensee of the Herve Leger brand, to investigate and establish appropriate next steps. The statements made by Mr. Couderc are not a reflection of Herve Leger by Max Azria or MJH Fashion ideals or sentiments. The Herve Leger by Max Azria brand celebrates sensuality, glamour and femininity without discrimination.
Note, Patrick Couderc was an employee of MJH Fashion, an independent distributor of Herve Leger in London. He is no longer associated with the company.