“GOOD!” queefed/peefed (peen queefed) everyone whose crotch parts get humid for Henry Cavill. Last week, Matt Bomer’s brother from another mother chatted with Men’s Health UK about bums and boners and how unsexy it is to flash your junk to a room full of gaffers and best boys and the dude holding the boom mic during the filming of a sex scene. Well, he’s talking about sex again, but this time it’s about how playing Superman is like fucking. Lay down a tarp, and get ready for your brain to imagine a 7″ rod of kryptonite being used in a truly nasty way (just me? okay). Henry tells The Guardian:
“It’s like shagging someone for the first time. Sometimes it turns out to be amazing. Mostly you’re trying to get each other’s rhythm going. It’s on the next go that you start to expand.”
Tell me more about this expanding situation, Henry, and take your time – I have nowhere to be. Henry also talks about how he needs to be jacked like Superman, otherwise the random tricks he brings home from the bar will be disappointed.
“If you were to meet a bird out in a bar and bring her home, she’s expecting Superman. This is not Superman and she’s going to be mega-disappointed. There’s a blessing in being Superman. You get more attention. But there’s also a curse, which is that you’d better fucking look like Superman any time you need to get your kit off.”
“Shagging“, “bird“, “get your kit off” – has Henry Cavill always sounded like Austin Powers or am I just noticing this now? Dude was an “Oh, behave!” away from receiving a cease-and-desist letter from Mike Myers. But Henry didn’t stop there. Henry popped by The Tonight Show and talked about how he stays in Superman shape. Spoiler alert: it requires fucking.
Well, implied fucking. That smirk could mean a multitude of things: aggressive knitting, high-impact reading, increased heart-rate napping. Yeah, it’s definitely none of those. Or at least that’s what Henry’s publicist is desperate for us to believe.
Here’s Henry Cavill looking like a sexy groomsman at the New York premiere of The Man from G.E.T.S.M.A.R.T. or whatever it’s called, as well as everyone else from that movie, like Madonna’s old husband and The Winklevoss Twin.