Night Crumbs

The Nanny and the Lexus that may or may not have been bought with Ben Affleck’s money were papped again. You know, if she’s going to keep doing this, she needs to take a class from posing expert Phoebe Price on how to spice up her photo-ops. Ride that hose, hump the car or something! – Lainey Gossip

Brad Pitt is happy for newlywed Jennifer Aniston. Her one-time arch rival Maddox, on the other hand, is furious and I hear (from the voices in my head) that he ordered one of his operatives in Bora Bora to spike her vodka with laxatives – Celebitchy

Lindsay Lohan is using all the Instagram filters now – Drunken Stepfather

Kim Zolciak’s wig is filled with delusions, I see – Reality Tea 

Kylie Jenner’s cornrows are back and she’s hanging out on a yacht with Joe Francis. My thoughts about that are best expressed through the face that Joe’s torso is making – The Superficial 

Sarah Silverman’s chichis came out last night – Hollywood Tuna 

Ariana Grande Latte and Bill Cosby have something in common now – IDLYITW

If Lana Del Rey got high by the beach more often, she would be chill and wouldn’t be shooting down helicopters – Towleroad

If only dogs really knew how to walk other dogs. I’d get another dog just so that it could walk the dog I have now – The Berry 

Anne Hathaway is still a bikini – Popoholic

Jay Leno thinks that Jimmy Kimmel’s ratings aren’t higher because he’s a big, big meanie who is mean and takes candy from kids like the meanie he is – Pajiba

Megyn Kelly is going on vacation and it’s making people’s heads fill up with a million WHYs – Jezebel

I hope Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk deduct this trip on their tax returns, because they are working it hard in front of the paps – Just Jared

Andrew Garfield grew a stache and now looks like he drives a white, windowless van – Popsugar

RiRi is joining The Voice – ICYDK

Pic: FameFlynet