If You Want To Know If Kristen Stewart Loves Coochie, Google It!

August 12, 2015 / Posted by:

It’s pretty obvious that Kristen Stewart is bumping vagines with Alicia Cargile, but she hasn’t exactly posed for a “Yup, I Love Puss” cover of People Magazine. In an interview with Nylon to promote that American Ultra movie, the humanized drool stain made it perfectly clear that she’s not going to come running out of the closet while waving a rainbow flag, because she’s not in the closet and she’s not going to confirm she’s bi unless she’s ready to be an advocate or some shit.

KStew sort of quoted Courtenay Semel when she said to Google her, you dumb fuck, if you want to know if she’s into coochie.

“Google me, I’m not hiding. If you feel like you really want to define yourself, and you have the ability to articulate those parameters and that in itself defines you, then do it. But I am an actress, man. I live in the fucking ambiguity of this life and I love it. I don’t feel like it would be true for me to be like, ‘I’m coming out!’ No, I do a job. Until I decide that I’m starting a foundation or that I have some perspective or opinion that other people should be receiving…I don’t. I’m just a kid making movies.

I think in three or four years, there are going to be a whole lot more people who don’t think it’s necessary to figure out if you’re gay or straight. It’s like, just do your thing.”

Well, if you Google, “Is Kristen Stewart bi-sexual?“, the front page has a few headlines including “Kristen Stewart Is Bisexual” and “Kristen Stewart Is Not Bisexual.” If you Google, “Does Kristen Stewart like coochie?”, you get a bunch of posts from Dlisted, a shady site you should never trust. So I’m more confused than ever. Googling her didn’t clear anything up! But wait..

Nylon also asked the mouth breathing definition of ANGST if she still talks to Robert Pattinson and she said:

“That’s not something I would ever talk to the fucking public about—that’s crazy.”

Hmmm… KStew didn’t talk about RPattz, because if she did, a sparkle would pop up in her blank eyes and she’d melt into the chair while thinking about the baby they’re raising together in secret in a hidden cabin in the woods. #RobstenIsStillUnbroken. We’re on to you, KStew!

Pics: Nylon

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