Brangelina Would Release The Trailer For Their Movie On Jennifer Aniston’s Wedding News Day

August 6, 2015 / Posted by:

Those shameless bitches just couldn’t let Jennifer Aniston have one day. ONE DAY! They had to try to upstage her by releasing the trailer for their 70s perfume commercial of a high art movie. Surprisingly, there’s not a scene in the trailer where Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie-Pitt (she’s going by that now) dance around a pile of burning Aveeno and Smart Water bottles. But you know, I doubt Jennifer Aniston cares. She’s too busy picking dried cum balls out of her hair since Uncle Terry probably jizzed all over her and Justin Theroux instead of throwing rice at them.

Here’s the trailer for By The Sea, which St. Angie Jolie-Pitt directed, wrote and of course, stars in with Brad Pitt. /Film says that By The Sea takes place in the mid-70s and St. Angie plays a former dancer named Vanessa who goes to a seaside resort town in France with her American writer husband Roland (B. Pitt) as their marriage bites the dust. It’s like Mr. and Mrs. Smith get moody in a commercial for Dolce & Gabbana’s newest fragrance “Mascara Tears.” Get swept away by the pretentiousness and DRAMA:

It looks like their W Magazine photo shoot characters went to Europe where they smoked cigarettes, stared at things, took baths, got the sads and cried. This is their Eyes Wide Shut and we all know how that worked out for Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise. No, I’m sure it won’t end with them breaking up for real. It’ll end with them drowning in a million OSCUHS!

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