Brooke Hogan really should’ve quit defending her dad Hulk Hogan after writing that gorgeous poem, because that’s as good as it gets and it will not only go down in literary history as an important work, but future civilizations will consider it the greatest defense of a father. But because Brooke Hogan doesn’t have shit to do and loves attention, she is defending her dad once again. Hulk Hogan mouth farted up a bunch of corroded racist dingles while talking about Brooke dating a black guy in his leaked sex tape. Brooke told Entertainment Tonight that her dad isn’t racist, because he’s best friends with Mr. T (yes, the “MY BEST FRIEND IS BLACK” card). She also said that she doesn’t get pissed off when she’s told white people smell like whatever the hell bologna is made of.
“My dad’s best friends with Mr. T, he’s best friends with Dennis Rodman, he’s not racist. It’s just when you’re mad and you’re at the lowest point in your life …. you just choose ill-fitting words for that situation just to air your shorts out. He’s so nice to everybody. He doesn’t talk like that, which is what was so strange about it.”
I feel bad for my dad, but I also feel bad for the African-American fans and stuff because they don’t know that he didn’t mean it. You know, it would be offensive. But this is something that we have to put a stop to everyday, because I’ll be honest with you, I’ve had a black guy call me a honkey, and I’ve also been told that white people smell like bologna. I don’t take offense to it, I just laughed at it.”
Hmmm. To me, Brooke doesn’t look like she smells like bologna. She looks like she smells like Victoria’s Secret fruit mist, the crust around an old bottle of Wet ‘N Wild foundation, peroxide, desperation and that faux coconut scent in some self tanners. But now that she mentions it…. I mean, Hulk Hogan’s hands look like they smell like fried deli meat and Slim Jim grease, so her body must smell like that too.