Hot Slut Of The Day!

Sprinkle Spangles cereal from the 90s!

Kids love sprinkles and I’m sure some of them snort lines of sprinkles in the darkened part of the cafeteria during lunchtime. Back in the 80s afterbirth of foolery known as the 90s, General Mills knew this and they put out Sprinkle Spangles cereal, which was star-shaped corn puffs that looked like they were spat on by a rainbow. They were covered in sprinkles. They looked like the herpes warts of a unicorn.

Sprinkle Spangles came out in the early 90s and General Mills went hard trying to push that shit by hiring the legendary Dom DeLuise to do the voice of the cereal’s mascot, a purple genie with a rainbow ponytail. The Sprinkle Genie was totally the Aladdin genie’s less-talented (but much hotter) third cousin who was assigned to make the breakfast wishes of brats come true, but he made the most of that shitty assignment by giving the world star-shaped, sprinkles-covered cereal!

Sprinkle Spangles cereal didn’t last long. It was discontinued in the late 90s. Who knows what became of the Sprinkle Genie. He probably became a back alley dealer and sells baggies full of sprinkles to hard-up children of the 90s who miss Sprinkle Spangles cereal.