If anyone was wondering why the beautiful and momentarily dickmatized Charlize Theron and desiccated anal gland Sean Penn broke up, here you go. TMZ reports that Imperator Furiosa adopted an African-American girl child from here in the States last month. She’s named the infant August. As far as asshole celebrity baby-names go, that’s not bad. It’s not Williamsburg Jacuzzi but it’s not Jennifer either. It’ll do. Is the baby named August because that’s when Charlize’s publicist broke the news? That’s kind of uninspired but hey, Charlize is probably really busy.
This is oddly concurrent with Penn looking for a day-old black baby for his movie. Do you think he had somehow used his hypno-peen to whammy her into adopting the type of baby he wanted just for a scene in his movie? And she finally broke his spell and busted out of his humidor crotch to save that impending adopted child? Or maybe she just realized pompous, angry, and naugahyde wasn’t the look for a dad.
Check out more pics of Charlize Theron looking incredibly thrilled to be papped while arriving at LAX yesterday in the gallery below.