Bring On The Heaves: Woody Allen Talks About His “Paternal” Relationship With Soon-Yi

July 30, 2015 / Posted by:

Warning: Before you read what Woody Allen said about his relationship with Soon-Yi Previn, you should strap your skin down with something strong, because it will want to crawl off of your body and you don’t want your tissue flying all over the place as you chase after it. That won’t be a good look.

Woody Allen first met Soon-Yi Previn when he started dating her adoptive mom Mia Farrow in 1980. Soon-Yi was reportedly around 8 to 10 years old then. Woody and Mia broke up in 1992 after she found naked pictures that Woody had taken of Soon-Yi who was around 20 at the time. Woody and Soon-Yi got together after Mia dumped him and they were married in 1997. They have two adopted daughters and have been together ever since. Woody tells NPR that the massive age difference between them works, because she needed a father figure and he liked her youth. In the game of “Father May I?” that is their relationship, Woody’s answer to Soon-Yi is always, “YOU decide.” Woody is as generous as he is gross. Shit is like something out of a relationship book written by PedoBear.

“I lucked out in my last relationship. I’ve been married now for 20 years, and it’s been good. I think that was probably the odd factor that I’m so much older than the girl I married. I’m 35 years older, and somehow, through no fault of mine or hers, the dynamic worked. I was paternal. She responded to someone paternal. I liked her youth and energy. She deferred to me, and I was happy to give her an enormous amount of decision-making just as a gift and let her take charge of so many things. She flourished. It was just a good-luck thing.”

Woody says that it’s “just ridiculous” that people are grossed about by their relationship. He also says that he thought Soon-Yi was going to be a “fling” and that he’d just check “Have Sex With Your Partner’s Daughter A Few Times” off of his bucket list before moving on.

“I started the relationship with her and I thought it would just be a fling, it wouldn’t be serious. But it had a life of its own. And I never thought it would be anything more. Then we started going together, then we started living together, and we were enjoying it. And the age difference didn’t seem to matter. It seemed to work in our favor, actually.

She enjoyed being introduced to many, many things that I knew from experience, and I enjoyed showing her those things. She took them, and outstripped me in certain areas that I showed her. That’s why I’m a big believer in luck. I feel that you can’t orchestrate those things. Two people come along, and they have a trillion exquisite needs and neuroses and nuances, and they have to mesh. And if one of them doesn’t mesh, it causes a lot of trouble. It’s like the trace vitamin not being in your body. It’s a tiny little thing, but if you don’t have it, you die.”

The only thing I have to say about all of the above is: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARF.

Pic: Wenn.com

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