Before all the full-fledged foolery of the day dirties up our pristine and innocent brains, let’s fill it with some potent Dynasty eleganza brought to you by RiRi.
While dehydrated dandelion Taylor Swift once again painted herself up as the poor, wittle victim during Nicki Minaj’s Twitter monologue about the MTV VMAs (again, all that DRAMA over the VMAs) and racism in the music industry, RiRi took advantage of all the eyeballs going to Twitter to watch the “beef” that never fully cooked by tweeting an ad for her new perfume.
RiRi is releasing another perfume, called RiRi by Rihanna, that will collect dust on the shelves of a Ross near you. No, I’m sure RiRi by Rihanna will replace water as the most used liquid in the world. Everyone will buy RiRi’s new bottle of stank by the case thanks to that stunningly exquisite ad. That ad is the point of glamour where a Mario Casilli portrait and the ad for Joan Collins’ perfume meet. That ad looks like it was shot at a Glamour Shots in the Paramus Park Mall in the late 80s and was conceived by Swan Brooner.
I can smell the Vaseline on the camera lens from here and that is truly a glamorous scent. If RiRi by Rihanna doesn’t smell like Vaseline, cheap lip gloss, wet satin and AquaNet, RiRi should be sued for false representation! But that ad really is the dose of glamour I needed today.
And here’s RiRi at LAX serving up more glamour by giving us Sideshow Bob from the neck up, sloppy 90s frat boy from neck to ankle and Rhonda from Laverne & Shirley from the ankle down.