Many of us figured that it was only a matter of time before Ben Affleck would be papped hugging a young blonde bitch, but I don’t think this is what we envisioned in the thought bubble above of our head. Ben flew into Atlanta, where his future ex-wife Jennifer Garner is shooting a movie, on a private jet yesterday and when he got off of the plane, he was holding an adorable puppy friend. No, Ben didn’t just use the golden fur ball for a quick photo-op before handing the pooch over to his assistant after the paps left. A source who is totally not Ben’s publicist tells Bennifer 2.0 fanfiction site People that the dog is a post break-up gift for their three kids.
“It’s their new puppy. It’s a family dog. It’s another sign they are working together to raise kids and be in a kind relationship.”
Another source tells UsWeekly that Ben and Jen got the Golden Retriever puppy at a shelter in Pacific Palisades, CA. Since Ben Affleck has a heart made of ice, he looked at the litter of angelic puppy faces at the shelter and said, “Nope,” and was also an ass to a female volunteer. But he finally dribbled out a, “Yeah, whatever,” and they adopted a puppy for their kids. That’s just like a movie. Grouchy bitch doesn’t want dog. Grouchy bitch relents and gets dog. Grouchy bitch hates dog. Grouchy bitch slowly begins to open his heart for dog. Grouchy bitch eventually learns about unconditional love and patience from dog. Grouchy bitch and dog become best friends and go on a road trip in the sequel. Naw, this is Ben we’re talking about. He’ll hate that puppy forever and I’m sure he insults the dog by calling it “Gigli” when no one is around.
And in these pictures, Ben looks like he just peeled himself off of the sidewalk under a park bench where he passed out after he was kicked out of a low-rent casino for getting into a drunken brawl with another pokah player. Dude looks a mess. But really, who cares about that. There’s a puppy in all these pictures. Look at the puppy instead! (Damn, Ben’s PR Team is really good.)