36-year-old Jaime King, the sometime actress and full-time den mother to Taylor Swift’s sugar cookie girl gang of teenagers and 20-something fetuses, gave birth to a baby boy who will probably be known as “OHMYGODYOURETAYLORSWIFTSGODCHILD” for a while. Jaime’s second kid was pulled out of her body on July 16th, but she announced the birth of Taylor’s godson on Instagram today. Jaime posted that weird picture along with this caption:
We are SO happy to welcome to the world our new baby boy! Born Thursday, July 16th! Xx
Yup, they all look pretty happy about it. Jaime gazes at her 39-year-old husband Kyle Newman while he plays a thrilling game of Candy Crush and her other son James pretends like his world is riveted by whatever he’s holding because he really doesn’t want to hear his mom go on about how perfect of a person Taylor is again. That bizarre picture is also some Where’s Waldo shit, because I had to squint my eyes and rotate my head to find her new kid in that picture. I still don’t know. Is baby suckling on her tete or is hiding under that pile of blankets while holding his ears because he too is afraid his mom is going to go on about how perfect of a person Taylor is again.
Jaime and Kyle haven’t said what they named their son, because you can’t give it all away in one Instagram post. But it’s not hard to figure out. It’s either going to be Taylor, Taylor Jr., Tay, Rolyat, 1989 or TIG (short for Taylor Is God). Speaking of, if there is a God and that God’s drug is watching Taylor Swift scream internally, then her godson’s first words will be, “I love Katy Perry.”