Open Post: Hosted By The Sound Of Damage Control

July 17, 2015 / Posted by: Michael K

Overcompensating has a name and it’s Ariana Grande Latte.

The spawn of a gremlin and an Ever After High doll performed in Tampa, FL last night and she tried to make everyone forget about her “I hate America” comment in that donut store by declaring that the USA is the GREATEST COUNTRY IN DU WOOORLD! Um, we all know this trick is telling lies. Fiji is the greatest country in du world, because it has a dick-shaped island. (Although, that dick-shaped island looks more like a baby dinosaur hatching out of an egg.)

I won’t believe that Ariana Grande Latte truly has a giant spot for the USA in that cold baby demon heart of hers until I see her line dancing to a Steve Earle song next to Shia LaBeouf in a Stay USA Hotel parking lot while wearing a bald eagle costume. But seriously, Ariana’s cat ear-covered head obviously doesn’t get it. This isn’t about the anti-American shit she said. Who cares about that! This is about how she degraded the donuts with her devil venom. I will never EVER forgive her until I see her starring in a photo-op with Mr. Sprinkles during a meeting about donut tolerance.

Tags: Open Post

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