Amber Heard, Not Johnny Depp, Got Charged With Smuggling Yorkies Into Australia

July 16, 2015 / Posted by:

Smuggling Yorkies into Australia” sounds like the code name for a sex act nobody wants to be a part of.

It was reported back in May that Johnny Depp faced 10 years of making scarves out of prison sheets and necklaces out of uncooked macaroni because Australian authorities were getting ready to charge him with bringing his Yorkies, Boo and Pistol, into the country without following their quarantine laws. But today, the international saga titled Scarf Pirates of America: The Curse of the Tainted Yorkies got a PLOT TWIST. Johnny Depp’s wife of 5 months Amber Heard is the one going down in the land Down Under. People reports that Amber was charged with two counts of of illegally importing her Yorkies and one count of producing a false document.

Amber Heard (or maybe I should call her, Amber Depp) was hit with the charges, because Boo and Pistol are registered in her name. Amber was given a summons to face the charges in a court room in Queensland on September 7th. Amber’s lawyers can petition to show up in her place, but the judge may shit on that request due to the seriousness of the charges.

Amber recently said that she and Johnny are going to stay away from Australia and its fame whore officials as much as they can. But if convicted of the charges, she’ll be spending a whole lot of time in an Australian prison cell. She could be punished with up to 11 years in prison and over $80,000 in fines. Bill Potts, a criminal defense lawyer based in Queensland, tells the AP that the chances of Amber spending a second in prison are about as slim as Johnny Depp willingly taking a shower without being dragged into one by the health department. Since Amber and Johnny sent their Yorkies back to the US within 72 hours of the deadline they were given, it’s unlikely that the court will send her to prison if she’s convicted of the charges. Bill went on to say that the major issue is that Australia is rabies-free and wants to stay that way.

“The seriousness of the offense is not whether two little puppies — who look like they could give you a nasty nip on the ankle — are dreadful animals, it’s about the risk to biosecurity. Was there a risk? Potentially, but not actually. And I’m sure the court will take all of those things into account.”

Who really knows whose fault this is. Johnny’s in Australia shooting the latest Pirates movie, but I don’t know if it was his idea or Amber’s idea to bring Boo and Pistol over. But I guess Amber is going to be the Cookie Lyon in this situation and take the fall for Johnny, Boo and Pistol. Every Yorkie in the world just stood on their hind legs and pounded their chest with a front paw for Amber, because she is their #1 ride or die bitch.


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