Open Post: Hosted By Ben Affleck’s Hot New Muscle Car

July 15, 2015 / Posted by:

When a 40-something-year-old rich dude files for divorce, he needs to immediately go full cliché by getting a gorgeous tramp stamp (CHECK) and a hot new car. Ben Affleck did just that. I was hoping that Ben’s break-up car would be something extra classy like a bright yellow El Camino with an inflatable hot tub on its bed and a license plate that reads: PSSYKNG. But instead, Ben bought a limited-edition 2015 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat.

TMZ says that Ben bought his new panty dropping machine over the phone and he paid $90,000. That car starts at $58,295, but the price grows when you add extra features like a backseat that turns into a bed for 2, a poker table that pops out of the trunk and a drawer under the drivers seat full of fresh panties for lady friends.

Prepare to say goodbye to those chonies as they hit the floor:

Now Ben just needs to complete the makeover by getting a 20-year-old, gum-chewing girlfriend named Angel, a wardrobe provided by Affliction, a hoop earring, an “on fleek” dick tattoo, calf implants and a sexy new hairstyle like a clip-on rattail. Ben, see Shia LaBeouf if you need help with the last one. He’ll hook up.

And here’s Ben with his dog at his offices in Santa Monica yesterday.

Pics: Splash

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