I don’t know what’s giving me the creeps more: Justin Bieber’s “fuck me” face on the right, or his naughty “look who found a secret box of superhero costumes in the back of Mommy’s closet” stare on the left. You’re right, definitely BOTH. Let’s move on, I feel nauseous.
The 21-year-old patch of ratty hair growing on humanity’s upper lip was recently interviewed for Interview magazine by Martha Stewart (Martha, NO!), and once again
his PR team he’s reminding you that he’s not nearly as much of a useless little turd as he seems. Despite the fact that he became a full-time pop star at the age of 13, and that many of the life decisions he’s made in the past several years are similar to that of your dumbass high school dropout cousin, Justin Bieber claims he graduated high school. Not only that, Justin told Martha that he graduated with a 4.0 GPA. Uh huh.
Obviously the cynical bitch in me believes the only graduating Justin Bieber has ever done is from diapers to big boy pants, on account of all of his homework time being taken up by drag racing and smoking weed. But let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and say he did graduate high school. I’m still side-eyeing that “4.0 GPA” business pretty hard. Case in point:
sunday comes after saturday? weird
— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) March 19, 2011
He can’t even understand the days of the week. Either he completed the same not-school high school program as Jaden and Willow Smith, or he got that 4.0 by slipping 4.0 million dollars into his homeschool teacher’s checking account. Regardless, that smart 4.0 brain of his was clearly no match for Martha and her shade A-game:
“I have a picture of the three of us. Your mom’s in the middle, and you look about 10 years old, but you must’ve been 16 or 17 because that’s only about four years ago.”
Here’s more of Justin looking like a decoy for an American Horror Story cross-over episode of To Catch A Predator.