Hot Slut Of The Day!

The dildo artiste (or artistes) who’s decorating the power lines in Portland, OR with dangling rubber dicks.

Oh, Portland, a magical land where a dick lover can say, “I wish hard peens would fall from the sky,” and look up and see beautiful dildos hanging from the power lines like mistletoe on Christmas Eve. But they’re better than mistletoe, because they’re fuck toys. Mistledick! If you and your piece ever find yourselves standing under one together, you have to suck each other off. It’s tradition.

Reuters (via Boing Boing) reports that during the past few days, hundreds of dildos have been seen hanging from power lines all over Portland. Some residents laugh at them, some tweet pictures and some probably do what I would do: use a trampoline to try to catch those dildos with their mouth. The dildos are tied together in pairs like the kind of nunchucks I’d use if I was a ninja. There’s always a tight butt dildo-hater in every community, so the dangling coochie and ass toys have been reported to the Portland Office of Neighborhood Involvement.

A rep for Portland General Electric says that the dildos aren’t a fire hazard and they’re only capable of bringing heat to your down low parts.

So the question is: WHY? If this happened in Clearwater, FL, I’d assume it was just that crazy gang Scientology tagging their territory. But since it happened in Portland, I’m assuming it’s the work of a hipster artist who should really run Portland’s Department of Beautification, because they obviously know that dildos make everything more beautiful.

Pics: @kolkata24x7, @rabble