When I was a kid (Side note: A white hair appears in my ear every time I type “When I was a kid…“), I got $1, if that, for every tooth and $2 for molars from the Tooth Fairy. But well, I guess when you add inflation and a shit mom who needs to buy her child’s love, you get $300 a toof!
Porn star, Christian author, vagina mold mogul, ear drum assaulter, walking billboard for tragic plastic surgery, reality show trick and Mother of the Century Farrah Abraham tweeted a picture of her 6-year-old daughter Sophia posing in front of a treasure trove of gifts from the Tooth Fairy. For just two front teeth, Sophia got six $100 bills, jewelry from Claire’s and a sequined purse. Sophia must be a seriously heavy sleeper, because how in the hell did she not wake up when the Tooth Fairy slipped that purse under her pillow?
Farrah shared the picture with her followers, because she’s Fame Whore Farrah and if the moment isn’t captured on camera, it didn’t happen. Also, Farrah worked her ass and coochie off (I was going to add “mouth,” but we’ve all seen her beej skills) for that money so why not show it off?
— Farrah Abraham (@F1abraham) July 12, 2015
Don’t spend it all in one place, Sophia…. Unless that one place is called “future therapy fund,” then okay. But seriously…
Farrah is dumb for broadcasting this to the world, because now the scammers are going to trick her and it’s not hard. Farrah probably forgets what her daughter looks like since they’re usually doing their own thing. So scam artists are going to put on a brown wig, black out a few teeth with a Sharpie, make fake fallen teeth out of Styrofoam, get on their knees and walk up to Farrah to say, “Hello mother. It is I, your daughter Sophia. I lost three teeth. That will be $900 please.” Farrah will pull out a stack of hundreds and since she can’t count, she’ll just hand the wad over. It’s the perfect con!