I don’t know that much about life, but I do know that it’s probably not a good idea to threaten to beat up Mexico’s biggest drug lord who just escaped out of prison and is responsible for thousands of murders. But since Donald Trump’s brain checked out of his head a long time ago, he threatened to beat up a Mexican drug lord on Twitter.
As you probably know, the head of the Sinaloa Cartel, Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán Loera, escaped out of a Mexican prison for the second time over the weekend. I used the word “escaped,” because I’m not sure what the word is for “being escorted by the prison guards he paid off to the elaborate escape tunnel his minions built.” Since Trump’s shitty words about Mexican immigrants got him a whole lot of attention, he has kept on, kept on, and used the El Chapo news to bring more attention to himself. Jabba the Trump went on a weird Twitter rant where he said that he’d issue a beat down on El Chapo if he was president.
“Mexico’s biggest drug lord escapes from jail. Unbelievable corruption and USA is paying the price. I told you so!
Can you envision Jeb Bush or Hillary Clinton negotiating with ‘El Chapo’, the Mexican drug lord who escaped from prison? Trump, however, would kick his ass!
Now that the Mexican drug lord escaped from prison, everyone is saying that most of the cocaine etc. coming into the U.S. comes over border! …..but that’s what I’ve been saying. Very unfair treatment by the media! The U.S. will invite El Chapo, the Mexican drug lord who just escaped prison, to become a U.S. citizen because our ‘leaders’ can’t say no!”
What’s that’s old saying? Oh yeah, “Hell hath no fury like the scorned son of a Mexican drug kingpin with a Twitter account.” El Chapo’s son allegedly tweeted this response to the bloated walrus:
Sigue chingando y voy hacer que te tragues todas tus putas palabras pinche guero cagaleche @realDonaldTrump
— Joaquín Guzmán Loera (@ElChap0Guzman) July 12, 2015
Gossip Cop translated it into English: “Keep fucking around and I’m gonna make you swallow your bitch words you fucking whitey milkshitter.” TMZ says that “whitey milkshitter” is an anti-gay slur. It’s also wrong. Donald Trump isn’t white. He’s orange. So El Chapo’s son should’ve called him a “naranja Tangshitter.” That’s more fitting.
Trump is apparently taking that tweet as a death threat and has cried to the FBI for help. via Gossip Cop
A Trump staffer exclusively tells Gossip Cop, “This is no joke.” The employee confirms Trump and his camp are in touch with the FBI regarding the threat, which is being taken quite seriously considering El Chapo is said to be responsible for tens of thousands of deaths related to his drug-trafficking organization.
You know, my mom always tries to tell me that the 70s were the weirdest time in history and I always disagree with her. The next time she brings that up, I’m going to say, “In the year 2015, a presidential candidate got into a Twitter spat with the son of a Mexican drug lord. Case closed.”
And if you need a quick recap of this post, here you go:
Trump to dangerous Mexican drug lord: “I’m going to kick your ass!”
Dangerous Mexican drug lord’s son to Trump: “We’re going to git you for that!”