Devious blond-headed goblin Ryan Seacrest can go ahead and cancel his meeting with E! where he planned to pitch them a new reality shit show called Orange is the New Kartrashian starring Caitlyn Jenner, because she will definitely not be charged with a felony for causing the deadly car crash on PCH and she may not even be charged with a misdemeanor. That’s what TMZ says anyway.
Last month, it was reported that the Los Angeles District Attorney’s office planned to pass the case to the Major Crimes Unit even though there was no chance in hell, purgatory and beyond that Caitlyn would be charged with a felony. Well, TMZ is now saying that Caitlyn won’t have to pick out a glamorous court room wardrobe, because no felony charges will be filed. TMZ’s source doesn’t think she’ll have to face misdemeanor charges either, because typically when cops get a case like this, they dismiss it altogether.
Apparently, investigators decided not to throw a felony charge at Caitlyn after seeing footage from an MTA bus camera of the accident. Click here if you haven’t seen that footage and want to. The footage shows Caitlyn’s SUV smash into a Lexus, sending it into oncoming traffic, before hitting a Prius. Kim Howe, who was driving the Lexus, died. Investigators don’t believe there’s any felonies to charge Caitlyn with and the only thing she’s guilty of is not paying attention and doing something cops call DWHUA (Driving With Head Up Ass). If only DWHUA was a real thing. Caitlyn could be charged with it and I’d get a siren for my car, because I come across morons driving with a culo full of head all the time and I’d love nothing more than to bust a CITIZEN’S ARREST on them.
So, Caitlyn probably won’t be charged with anything for that car crash, because being rich and famous in L.A. always pays off, but when is she finally going to be charged for her involvement in the longtime, ongoing wreck that is the Kardashian family’s existence. That’s what I want to know.
Here’s Caitlyn leaving a sushi lunch in L.A. with that model daughter and a Baldwin spawn on Saturday.