Reason #1 For Why It’s Not A Good Idea To Wear All Your Clothes On A Flight Instead Of Paying An Extra Baggage Fee

July 12, 2015 / Posted by:

It’s hard out there for a boy band member who doesn’t have One Direction or *NSYNC circa 2001 money. James McElvar (who is giving me young Chris Crocker in that picture) is a member of some Scottish boy group I’ve never heard of called Rewind and he doesn’t get to travel on private jets and lounge in a mink-covered seat as he sips on diamond-infused champagne while his assistants load his Louis Vuitton trunks full of designer clothes onto the plane. James and his boy bandmates have to fly Easyjet and they have to deal with Easyjet’s added fees. But James learned the hard way that it’s better to pay the fee than almost die from skinny jeans suffocation.

The BBC says that on Wednesday, 19-year-old James tried to get on a flight from Stansted to Glasgow with a suitcase and a backpack, but Easyjet would only allow him to bring on one bag without paying. James would’ve had to open up his wallet and pull out £45 in order to bring an extra bag on the plane. James didn’t want to pay the extra fee and he didn’t have to thanks to a genius plan. James decided to outsmart those greedy whores at Easyjet by wearing everything that was in his backpack. James put on six t-shirts, four sweaters, three pairs of skinny jeans, two pairs of sweats, two jackets and two hats. Anyone who has lived through a NYC winter is pfft-ing at that shit, because we’ve all worn that exact same outfit while walking to the bar in the middle of January.

James took off a few layers when he got on the plane, but I guess it didn’t help. Halfway through the flight, he started barfing and collapsed due to heat exhaustion. He had to be given oxygen by paramedics while on the plane. James told The Sun (via People) that he thought he was going to die and I’m sure he had flashes of his tombstone which would’ve read: He Died A Cheap Bitch.

“The woman said either one bag went in the hold or we weren’t getting on. The rest of the band had gone through so I couldn’t give them any of the clothes. I was told I’d either have to pay a £45 fee to get it on the plane, get the flight the next morning, bin the clothes or wear them. I thought I was a goner and that I was having a heart attack.”

The band’s Twatter said that James is still in shock, but that he’s fully recovered.

On one hand, James’ crotch huevos probably look like two raw chickpeas from getting the life suffocated out of them. On the other hand, we all know who Rewind is now and some people may take pity on them and buy their album so they can afford extra baggage fees. Well played, Rewind.

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