Despite recent whispers that she was done rubbing her parched parts on her secret-not-secret boyfriend of almost a year, People says Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk were spotted driving from an airport to a hotel in Rome together on Thursday. Unless Brad is making a little extra cash as Goopy’s personal assistant, that probably means they’re together.
A source, who sounds like they’re gunning for a copywriting job at GOOP.com, tells People that Gwyneth and Brad were “serene and pleased in each other’s company, happy.” The reason Gwyneth was in Rome was to sit in the front row of a Valentino couture show yesterday. In the event you want to see what it looks like when Goopy is about to scream at the GPS for not addressing her as “Ms. Paltrow“, People has a couple pictures of Goopchuck driving around Rome. In a (shudder) rental car. I’m sure the first thing Goopy hissed when Brad pulled around with their rental car was “Excuse me? What in the fuck is that piece of shit. We’re in Rome. Where’s my 70 BC golden chariot? You think Julius Caesar would been seen in a LeBaron? Christ, Brad, get it together. I’M GWYNETH PALTROW!”
First Jennifer Lawrence goes back to Chris Martin, then Brad Falchuk returns to Goopy? Does Neil deGrasse Tyson know anything about the possible gravitational pull of crotches? Because I’m starting to think Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have some kind of smug gravitational pull that prevents their partners from leaving their orbit.
And here’s Gwyneth looking like the sugar-free vanilla creme in the middle of Giancarlo Giammetti and Valentino’s sexy orange sandwich cookie.