And apologies if you wanted to miss this.
Because I have wonderful timing, I’m following up a post about a child porn investigation with a picture of Justin Bieber flashing his Baby Alive ass cheeks on Instagram. The Biebs must have been sick and tired of watching Chelsea Handler and Chrissy Teigen get all the attention for putting their parts on display on Instagram, because last night he made all the crazed Beliebers scream, “I’ve got the maple syrup,” when he posted a picture of his bare Canadian pancakes on a yacht somewhere. That picture is a cross between a still out of a gay porn parody of Lost and a still out of a gay porn parody of Fantasy Island starring that tattooed twink as Tattoo. If that mountain had a mouth it would be laughing. Or maybe it’s a Belieber and if that’s the case, its nasty ass would be drooling.
Like with most things, I consulted my life adviser and spiritual guide Jackée Harry after seeing this picture last night. I checked her Twitter to see her thoughts about the Biebs’ hairless beaver ass. I immediately searched for a SideEyeFromMary.GIF to throw at her when I read this tweet from her: “@justinbieber looks FYNE, doesn’t he?! But wait.. #AgeCheck.” The thirst is a very real epidemic when Sandra is licking her lips over Justin Bieber’s ass.
If your eyeballs really need a serving of the Biebs’ butt, the un-Usher’d pic is after the cut. As always, the Biebs’ sassy Jesus calf tattoo says it all. I’m really disappointed that nobody pushed the Biebs into that ocean when they had the chance.