People Magazine Got The First Pictures Of Bennifer 2.0 In the Bahamas

July 6, 2015 / Posted by:

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner took their estranged asses to the Bahamas right before announcing their marriage was officially roadkill, because they didn’t want the paparazzi getting all up in their lives. Well, I don’t know how the paparazzi did it, but they somehow managed to find Ben and Jennifer having a ~serious~ moment on the beach in the Bahamas. (Today, the meaning of “somehow managed” is: The paparazzi just drove their rented boat to the place Bennnifer 2.0’s publicists told them to go at a specific time.)

People posted EXCLUSIVO pictures of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner sitting next to each other on some beach steps during their post-divorce announcement vacation in the Bahamas. An “onlooker” (aka either a nosy seagull or the pap) says that Ben and Jen’s “serious and somber” conversation on the beach steps lasted only a few minutes. They were cordial, but they never touched and when they weren’t talking, they stared into space at nothing. Um, isn’t that how most conversations with Ben Affleck go?

People tweeted this picture which gives me “Heidi Montag crying on a beat-up chair for the paps” vibes but without the organic raw emotions:

The “onlooker” didn’t say what Ben and Jennifer specifically talked about, but I’m guessing during their conversation he asked, “Ugh, we’ve been sitting here for like 5 minutes. Haven’t they taken enough pics?” To which Jennifer said, “Just pretend you’ve got something in your eye so they can see that you’re still wearing your wedding ring. Then you can go back to the stupid fucking casino, okay?!”

And this completely natural and not-at-all-staged somber photo shoot was brought to you by Coke. Share a Coke® with your emotionally unavailable, good-for-nothing almost ex-husband during a natural photo shoot for People.

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