Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 6, 2015 / Posted by:

The lady bald eagle whose cheers and fist pumps won the Woman’s World Cup for the US yesterday!

I’m sure that before the Woman’s World Cup final game between the US and Japan started yesterday, the American team went in dejected and defeated and knew they were probably going to lose. (I have no idea what I’m talking about, as usual, but just go with it.) But then they spotted a fan in a Party City bald eagle mask and an American flag pashmina fisting the air in the stands and they knew that they had to win the game for her and for America! Watching that lady bald eagle inject fifty fistfuls of American patriotism into that stadium gave Carli Lloyd the inspiration to make all those goals. Obviously. (Side note: Which team did Keira Knightley and Dr. Neela from ER play on?)

John Mellencamp must be a future-seer, because when he wrote the lyrics, “ain’t that America, something to see, baby,” he was definitely talking about the lady bald eagle cheering US to victory at the World Cup. THIS is America:

And Shia LaBeouf, the biggest ‘Murican who ever ‘Murica’d, definitely has the most patriotic boner right now.

(For Sara and Dana)

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