In 2005, Bill Cosby had to testify under oath after Andrea Constand, a former Temple University employee, sued him and accused him of doing what more than half of the planet has accused him of. Andrea accused the mound of bloated smugness and melted Pudding Pops of drugging and assaulting her in 2004 at his mansion in Philadelphia. During his testimony, Cosby admitted to buying Quaaludes with the intent to give them to women he wanted to have “sex” with. Cosby also admitted to giving Andrea three and a half Benadryl pills because she told him she was stressed out. Andrea’s lawyer at the time, Dolores M. Troiani, threw a side-eye and four squints at that. Dolores said that she believes Cosby gave Andrea something much stronger than Benadryl.
The Associated Press was able to get a judge in Pennsylvania to release the documents even though Cosby’s lawyers wanted to keep them locked up on the grounds that it would “embarrass” their client. Oh, I think we’re about 5,000 accusers past the point of that. via AP
Cosby, giving sworn testimony in the lawsuit accusing him of sexual assaulting Constand at his home in Pennsylvania in 2005, said he got seven quaalude prescriptions in the 1970s. The lawyer for Constand asked if he had kept the sedatives through the 1990s — after they were banned — but was frustrated by objections from Cosby’s lawyer.
“When you got the quaaludes, was it in your mind that you were going to use these quaaludes for young women that you wanted to have sex with?” lawyer Dolores M. Troiani asked.
“Yes,” Cosby answered on Sept. 29, 2005.
“Did you ever give any of these young women the quaaludes without their knowledge?”
Cosby’s lawyer again objected, leading Troiani to petition the federal judge to force Cosby to cooperate.
Cosby later said he gave Constand three half-pills of Benadryl, although Troiani in the documents voices doubt that was the drug involved. The two other women who testified on Constand’s behalf said they had knowingly been given quaaludes.
The lawsuit was eventually settled for an undisclosed amount of money in 2006. The Hollywood Reporter pulled more information out of the documents. Cosby also testified that when Andrea first accused him, he told her mom that he’d give her money for her education. He also admitted during his testimony to asking an agent at William Morris to send money to a different accuser. Even after Andrea accused Bill Cosby of drugging and assaulting her, he stayed on the board at Temple University. He eventually resigned (read: they told him he was bad for business) last year after that giant wave of 1,000 accusers hit him.
If you’re wondering what that loud whistling sound is, it’s just the Cosby defenders whistling as they look up at the sky while playing with their thumbs.
After reading through the documents, it sounds like Dolores suspected that Bill Cosby gave Andrea quaaludes. Quaaludes in 2005. Did Bill Cosby use his Pudding Pops money to buy the world’s supply of ludes before that shit was banned or is there a secret place on this planet where they still have them? (Cut to Cosby’s old friend Hugh Hefner taking a secret elevator in his grotto to his vault of “thigh openers.“ Baaaarf.)