During an appearance on The Late Late Show with James Corden back in March, vinegar enthusiast Mila Kunis danced around a question about whether she had taken her vinegar fetish to the next level by getting married to Massengill’s next of kin Ashton Kutcher. Mila never technically answered yes or no, but she was blushing and playing coy and didn’t correct James Corden when he pointed to her ring finger and said “They are married, look“, so everyone took that as an implied yes.
Well, it turns out Jackie was just playing us so she and Kelso could get secret married in private over the weekend. Those sneaky liars! According to UsWeekly, Mila Kunis officially became the second Mrs. Ashton Kutcher this weekend at a place called The Secret Garden at Parrish Ranch in Oak Glen, CA. A secret wedding at The Secret Garden? We totally should have seen this one coming. I bet they made Baby Wyatt go incognito in some kind of random animal costume to keep it extra hush-hush.
Mila has said in the past that she’s always wanted to get secret married and didn’t plan to invite anyone to her wedding, so nobody really knows anything about what happened this weekend. Until I see pictures confirming otherwise, I will choose to believe Ashton wore a gorgeous pink chiffon gown and the wedding was officiated by Red Forman. “Do you, dumbass, take this dumbass to be your lawfully wedded dumbass?“