And On The Season Premiere Of Krapping Up The Kartrashians…

July 6, 2015 / Posted by:

Since Kim Kartrashian has a silicone womb full of her next publicity stunt and Khlozilla trapped her next victim, Kourtney Kartrashian had to come up with her next storyline or Pimp Mama Kris would’ve banished her to the basement where she’d have to spend her days watching Fat Rob dry his tears on a mountain of socks he never sold. So Kourtney decided to dump the father of her 3 kids, Scott Disick, because Pimp Mama Kris always told her: What’s the point of making babies with a man if you’re not going to dump him for the sake of your reality shit show and tabloid coverage?

Kartrashian Kentral (aka E! News) says that the human embodiment of a drool stain broke up with Scott over the Fourth of July weekend. The Slow One is apparently sick of Scott partying all the time and she ended things after seeing pictures of him touching his ex-piece Chloe Bartoli while vacationing in the South of France. Scott is still in Monte Carlo and is telling everybody that he’s single now. “E!’s source” (government name: Kristen Mary Houghton Kardashian Jenner) spilled out this shit about the break-up:

“Kourtney has always taken Scott back and been by his side, but now with three kids it has gotten old. Kourtney has to do what’s best for the kids. Scott has been running around saying he’s single. Kourtney dumped him after she saw the pics [in Monte Carlo] and he hasn’t been home after a month-long party binge.

Kourtney is putting on a brave face, but she is over it. She’s fed up. It’s humiliating and disrespectful. How much more is she supposed to take? Scott does not seem to care about what he’s doing. He’s clearly unraveling. He was a mess in NYC last month with the drinking and partying and he’s been in a downward spiral ever since. He’s been in trouble before, but this is on another level.”

Brave face? I haven’t heard of that kind of facelift. It must be some new shit you can only get done in South America.

I know this devastating and heartbreaking news makes you want to punch your chest while crying on a pile of bloody cherubs who committed suicide over true love being dead, but don’t worry. I’m sure that Scott and Kourtney will get back together as soon as they get the KUWTK script that reads:


That’s emoji for: Shit Head and Sloth Girl get back together. (Like most of her sisters, Kourtney can only read emojis.)

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