Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 5, 2015 / Posted by:

Carlene LeFevre, the Grand Dame of Competitive Eating!

The Coney  Island boardwalk is covered in more vomit and diarrhea than usual today and that’s because Nathan’s Annual Hot Dog Eating Contest (aka the “Dear Starving People Of The World, In America We Gorge Ourselves On Food For Sport” event) happened as it does every year on the Fourth of July. A huge upset went down. Joey Chestnut’s 8 year run as the reigning hot dog gobbler of the world came to an end when tiny, little human garbage disposal Matt Stonie ate more wieners and buns than John Travolta at David Miscavige’s birthday orgy in the Scientology bathhouse.

Joey Chestnut swallowed down 60 dogs in 10 minutes and Matt Stone outdid him with 62 dogs. I watched this wreck yesterday and Joey Chestnut looked like he was in pain. He had that “first time doing butt sex without lube” look about him. It looked like he was clenching his ass cheeks together because he was afraid his bowels were finally going to make a break for it out of his b-hole. Or maybe he was just sad that he got his ass beat. On the women’s side, the competitive eater of my heart Sonya “The Black Widow” Thomas failed once again to take down returning ladies champion Miki Sudo. Sonya devoured 31 dogs to Miki’s 38. Also on the women’s side, 60-something-year-old beauty Carlene LeFevre placed 10th with 11 dogs. It was her fifth time competing.

Carlene LeFevre started stretching the limits of her stomach skin during major league eating competitions sometime in the 80s. Since then, she’s swallowed down everything from steaks to hamburgers to SPAM to ribs to cheese fries. She took a long break from the diarrhea-inducing game in 2005, but came back hard in 2014 when she won the ladies trophy in the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest Qualifier in Las Vegas (pictured above with the men’s winner Pablo Martinez). Carlene is currently ranked #25 in the world. Carlene’s husband Richard LaFevre is also a competitive eater and he’s ranked #16 in the world.

After reading Carlene’s way-too-short Wikipedia bio, I learned a few hot facts:

1. Her competitive eating nickname is “The Madam of Etiquette,” because she tries to keep it polite, ladylike and clean while shoving an entire Sizzler buffet into her eating hole.

2. She worked as an aerobics instructor, grade school teacher and a Mary Kay saleswoman. You probably already guessed the last one, because her delicately painted face gives that away.

3. She watches 8 hours of TV a day, but don’t call her the hermit queen of the couch, because she sometimes presses the pause button on the remote so she can exercise a little.

And here’s a clip from the MTV show Girl Code of Maxine’s nicer and hungrier younger sister showing some amateurs how to go wild on a wiener:

Carlene LeFevre: A lady in the streets and a freak at the competitive eating table.

And here’s a few pictures from yesterday’s Nathan Wiener Gobble Contest of competitors eating what Mama June eats as an amuse-bouche.

Pics: Vegas24Seven, Wenn.com

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