Last year around this time, Taylor “Don’t Call Me A Desperate Clinger” Swift (seen above quite literally desperately clinging to current boyfriend Calvin Harris) celebrated the Fourth of July with a small collection of her closest famous girl friends, because her management team was going for a sort-of “me & my gals” friendship vibe. But this year, it looks like her management team OK’d her request to make it all about her new boyfriend.
Yesterday, Calvin Harris Instagrammed the first picture from Tay Tay’s Independence Day Spectacular, and today we have the rest. Just like the last time Taylor threw a party with her famous girl crew, it’s a real “Oh say can you see…ME!” celebration. If pictures from Taylor Swift’s Gathering of the Butterscotch parties were a drinking game, we’d all be halfway to hammered right now. Take a shot if Taylor Swift and her friends post a picture of them jumping in the air. Take another shot if she’s making a mouth-open surprised face while she’s doing it. Chug your drink every time she looks like she’s auditioning for an Ann Taylor LOFT-sponsored remake of Gidget.
If you’re expecting to see Tay Tay digging in to a Cool Whip flag cake or taking a selfie with some sparklers, you’ve come to the wrong Fourth of July party. Tay Tay is rich, so her Fourth of July is nothing like a regular person’s Fourth of July. Instead, it’s more like what I imagine the 10th birthday party for Uncle Sam’s spoiled daughter would look like. Taylor filled her pool with giant inflatable swans and rented some sort of red, white, and blue floating super slide to match their red, white, and blue beach towels. Then she forced all her friends to put on American flag onesies and take cutesy slumber party pictures. Now that I think of it, that Cool Whip flag cake would have fit in perfectly.