Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 4, 2015 / Posted by:

Americana, the true symbol of America whose image should be made into a gigantic statue of cooper that sits on Liberty Island in NYC. (Sorry, Statue of Libery.)

In honor of the day that some of us fill our greedy mouth hole with gallon after gallon of imported beer until our liver declares independence from our body, today’s HSOTD is Americana, a wrestler from the hands-down greatest sports organization of all-time: GLOW (Glamorous Ladies of Wrestling)! Whenever I see shit about how China overtook the US as the world’s largest economy, I shake my head at this country and its decisions. That would’ve never happened if GLOW still existed today, because it would be bringing in at least ten trillion dollars. At least!

When GLOW started in 1986, Americana (played by Cindy Maranne) was an original member and she lasted 2 seasons. (GLOW itself only lasted 5 seasons.) She was the GLOW singles champion at one point. She quit GLOW and hung up her red, white and blue leotard, because she wanted to move back to L.A. to do the “real” acting thing. Cindy was in an 80s horror movie called Slash Dance so her dreams of making it in Hollywood obviously came true. She also married one of GLOW’s writers and together they had a kid I’m hoping they named Americana Jr. Americana is also in the documentary about GLOW and if you haven’t seen it already, you really should. Or just sign up for an American History class at any Ivy League university since I’m sure they cover the GLOW documentary in depth.

And now I leave you with this extra hot patriotic clip of Americana taking on Royal Hawaiian. This is about as American as blowing your nalgas skin off after lighting a firecracker in your ass during a Fourth of July BBQ.

“That’s even more American than me!” – Shia LaDouche while fucking a can of Coors on top of the head at the Crazy Horse Memorial.

Happy 4th, everyone!

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