Open Post: Hosted By Shia LaBeouf Line Dancing To A Steve Earle Song In A Stay USA Hotel Parking Lot

July 3, 2015 / Posted by:

And here I thought that the most ‘Murican thing that would touch my eyes this week would be the sight of a topless, Wild and Wonderful Whites-looking ass Shia LaDouche screaming “America!” while visiting Mount Rushmore. I was wrong. Shia managed to outdo himself. Shia, who recently busted his head, is currently shooting a movie in rural South Dakota and TMZ got a video of him and the movie’s crew doing the Copperhead Road line dance to the Steve Earle song of the same name in the parking lot of a Stay USA Hotel. Watching it made my nipples secrete Cheez Whiz. It’s that ‘Murican.

As I can tell from my liver shivering with fear, it’s the Fourth of July tomorrow and so I’m 100% sure that Shia is going to go all the way. Shia’s going to try to get a bald eagle to butt fuck him as he sucks off the end of a firework in the back of an American flag-painted El Camino driving up to a Dairy Queen. So we better hide all bald eagles and fireworks in a place Shia will never go. (Hint: Let’s hide them in a shower.)

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