Night Crumbs

July 3, 2015 / Posted by:

BREAKING: For the first time in the long history of their relationship (six seconds or so), long piece of dried jicama Calvin Harris posted a picture of his girlfriend Taylor Swift on Instagram. Calvin posted a picture of Tay Tay working the grill (and I’m sure her chef took over right after this picture was taken). The picture is dark, but I think she’s throwing a side-eye that says, “Dump me and it’ll be your nuts on this grill.” – Lainey Gossip

FINALLY, a movie star says something interesting during an interview. Technically, Paul Rudd’s ass said it, but still – The Superficial

Conan O’Brien crashed a girls night out to see Magic Mike XXL and you know he left a little milky, ginger butt cream on that movie theater seat – Towleroad

Methinks something got lost in communication and the source was really talking about George Clooney’s many ANAL experiments – Celebitchy

Teen Mom Jenelle is way too busy to be a mom. Why? Is Kesha in town again? – Reality Tea

Red, white and bulge – The Berry

Miley Cyrus went topless for V Magazine. You know, I’m a little disappointed that she also didn’t fuck that albino pineapple for the camera – Hollywood Tuna

But the clown wore it better (I’m talking about the clown in the second picture) – Drunken Stepfather

Malia Obama may be an intern on Girls. Please don’t tell me Lena Dunham gave her the job of giving mints to the dude who has to butt munch one of the characters in a scene – Jezebel

Can we get Matt Lauer to interview Button the pissing sheep next? – SOW

Scott Isadick gave himself and Kourtney Kartrashstain their next fake storyline for their reality shit show – Just Jared

That big tattooed sack of muscles who used to be with Kelly Brook has a peen and this is what it looks like – (NSFW) OMG Blog

This is how most obits should read – Egotastic

The Alien Lizard King and the Cumberbitches’ enemy #1 made their first appearance since their baby was born – Popsugar

In every selfie of the permanently thirsty Hilaria Baldwin in her panties should be a baby screaming, “STOP!” – HuffPo

Pic: Instagram

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