NBC announced today that they have removed the hairy, pus-filled throbbing pimple that was stuck to their ass cheeks. Univision dropped the Miss Universe pageant after Donald Trump said that immigrants from Mexico are drug-dealing rapists during his fuckery-filled presidential announcement speech. Well, now NBC has joined Univision in saying, “No, you’re fired, bitch,” to the mutated baboon ass. After a petition asking NBC to get rid of Trump got close to 200,000 signatures, the network said in a statement that they will no longer air the Miss Universe and Miss USA pageants. They also made it sound like they’re going to replace him on the Celebrity Apprentice. (Excuse me while I run off to start a petition to ask NBC to replace Trump with the world’s greatest mogul Harald Glööckler.)
“At NBC, respect and dignity for all people are cornerstones of our values.
Due to the recent derogatory statements by Donald Trump regarding immigrants, NBCUniversal is ending its business relationship with Mr. Trump. To that end, the annual Miss USA and Miss Universe Pageants, which are part of a joint venture between NBC and Trump, will no longer air on NBC. In addition, as Mr. Trump has already indicated, he will not be participating in “Celebrity Apprentice” on NBC. Celebrity Apprentice is licensed from Mark Burnett’s United Artists Media Group and that relationship will continue.”
I see NBC trying to make us all think that they fired Trump because the shit nuggets that came out of his mouth are against their “values” and not because the shit nuggets that came out of his mouth are screwing with their money.
Trump, of course, burped up some crap about how NBC didn’t dump him, he dumped NBC. And of course, he threatened to sue their asses along with Univision.
“They did not want me to run. They wanted me to do The Apprentice. And now with my statements on immigration which happen to be correct, they are going to take a different stance and that’s OK. Whatever they want to do is OK with me. As far as ending the relationship, I have to do that because my view on immigration is much different than the people at NBC.”
Trump also released a long shit bag of a statement on Instagram. If you don’t want to read that statement, just watch this old video of a farting hippo instead. It sums up Trump’s words perfectly, but is much less shittier.
And NBC should’ve let Mexican novela queen Soraya Montenegro do the honor of firing Trump by screaming one of her legendary largates at him.