I was going to title this “American royalty” meets “British royalty,” but that would be a lie wrapped in a heavy layer of NO. Because this post is not about how Shauna Sand and her boy toy had high tea at a Hooters in Nottingham with Jodie Marsh and whoever she’s boning at the moment.
Years from now, history teachers will extensively cover June 26, 2015 and not because it’s the day that the Supreme Court made the dreams come true of every aspiring gay gold digger in every state. They will cover that day, because it’s the day that Dame St. Angie Jolie, Brad Pitt, Duchess Kate and Prince William drank tea together. CNN should really close up and give it up, because instead of covering a highly historical event like this, they spent hours reporting on those prison escapees last night.
Unlike CNN, UsWeekly knows what journalism is, because they exclusively reported about how Brangelina had tea with the royals at Kensington Palace yesterday afternoon. Brangelina are in London for charity stuff and while there, they drank tea (but was it Tension Tamer tea?) with Duchess Kate and Prince William and they also brought a gift for Princess Charlotte. A rep for Kensington Palace said they talked about illegal wildlife shit.
After months of coordinating, the two power couples met for the first time at a private Kensington Palace meeting. “The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge met with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Pitt at Kensington Palace on Friday afternoon,” a Kensington Palace spokesman tells Us Weekly exclusively. “They discussed their shared interest in combatting the illegal wildlife trade.”
“Everyone got on splendidly,” says the source of their afternoon tea. “Brad and Angelina spent much longer with the Duke and Duchess than planned. They ended up staying for almost a few hours.”
They drank tea and talked about illegal animals for “almost a few hours” (whatever the hell that means)? I call bullshit on that. They probably spent those “almost a few hours” smoking weed out of a blueberry scone Brad Pitt turned into a bong before swapping partners. But I’m sure we’ll soon find out what really went on during those “almost a few hours” when the History Channel airs a 6-part series about the most historical meeting of our time.