If you stare at Mimi’s Magic Eye dress long enough, you may see a sinking sailboat, which is a symbol of her relationship with her Australian billionaire, I guess.
My dog’s relationship with the piece of chicken-flavored rawhide that he’s been gnawing on for the past 2 days has gone on longer than Mimi’s relationship with Australian billionaire James Packer, but they’re still getting serious about getting married. It makes sense. Who cares if Mimi probably hasn’t met his family and turns into a human question mark when you ask her what his middle name is! The only thing she needs to know is that he has enough money to hire scientists to make her a real-life pink unicorn. SOLD! Who cares if James Packer’s brain turns off when you ask him what Mimi’s birthday is. The only thing he needs to know is that if he wants to get into Mimi’s Hello Pussy, he better put a 14 carat purple diamond ring on her ringer.
A source tells TMZ that Mimi and the come-to-life Minecraft character want to get engaged, but before they do, they’re going to meet with some spiritual leader. The source says that today, Mimi and James are taking his private jet to Israel to meet with a spiritual leader type whom he knows well. Once they do that, they’re going to hit the fast forward button on their marriage plans even though she’s still married to Nick Cannon.
James Packer was Tommy Girl’s best bitch for a minute and he stuck his tip in L. Ron Hubbard’s Thetan-covered asshole for a minute, so I’m picturing this “spiritual adviser” as John Travolta in a white gown with an e-meter. I wish Mimi would join Scientology. She’d bring that church of crazy down. While rambling about lambs and moments during her audit, the e-meter machine would explode and the walls would come crumbling down.
I’m sure this spiritual leader will tell them that they’re both crazy wrecks who need to slow down and that Mimi doesn’t need to get married in order to fuck. Ha. No, I’m sure this spiritual leader will tell Mimi that James Packer is her soulmate and they should unite their love before GOD and the spiritual leader will say that right after James slips him a blank check.
Here’s the ethereal Wuzzle and Frankenbillionaire strolling through Portofino, Italy yesterday.