Hot Slut Of The Day!

Quasi Modo, our new reigning World’s Ugliest Dog 2015!

The only beauty pageant that any of us should care about, the World’s Ugliest Dog contest, happened at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in Petaluma, CA yesterday. It’s the best beauty pageant of all beauty pageants, because it involves dog friends and it doesn’t involve the world’s ugliest ass wart Donald Trump. The Chinese crested dogs are to the World’s Ugliest Dog pageant what Miss Venezuela is to the Miss Universe pageant. They usually win and sashay into the contest while eyeing the other contestants up and down like, “Why bother, whores? I got this.”

But the Chinese cresteds better step up their ugly, because they’ve been on a losing streak. They haven’t taken the Ugly Dog crown since 2012. They lost it to adorable space watcher Peanut (breed unknown) in 2014 and in 2013, the blind judges gave the trophy to a non-ugly basic beagle, boxer, basset hound mix. And this year, the Chinese cresteds were once again told to ugly it up more and try again next year, because the big winner was a 10-year-old Dutch shepherd, pit bull mix named Quasi Modo who is built like Sherri Shepherd and has Monday morning eyes that are alway saying, “Over this shit.”

Quasi Modo was born with a spine defect that gives him that “love child of It’s Pat and a hyena” hunchback. The Associated Press says that Quasi Modo was adopted by his human, a vet, after he was dropped off at an animal shelter in Loxahatchee, Florida. Quasi Modo beat out Chinese crested Sweepee Rambo who was the runner-up. Quasi’s prize was the title, a trophy and $1,500 which I hope he’ll spend on hot ass and the good shit.

Congratulations to King Quasi Modo! Hopefully this highly coveted title leads to bigger things like the starring role in a live-action Tasmanian Devil movie (or the title role in a Larry King biopic)!

Pics: Splash