Michael Jackson Has Churned Out $2 Billion Since His Death

June 26, 2015 / Posted by:

Above is a picture taken by photographer John Plashal during a thunderstorm in Goochland County, VA (Goochland County is my favorite county) on Tuesday and after a local news station threw the pictures up on their site, some messes swore on their one rhinestone glove that they could see Michael Jackson moonwalking up in the clouds above. I need to get to Goochland County immediately. They obviously have the best kind of good shit. Their good shit must be so good that it makes you see a moonwalking Michael Jackson made of clouds. That’s some potent stuff. But really, I don’t see shit. (Strangely enough, I do see a white and gold dress, though.) But maybe those stoned messes in Goochland are seeing clearly and that really is cloud Michael Jackson moonwalking during a thunderstorm. It would make sense. You too would be moonwalking during a thunderstorm if you knew that you were making it rain even in death.

TMZ says that since Michael Jackson’s death 6 years ago, his estate has whored him out so much that it’s made $2 billion. Most of that giant mountain of cash came from the Cirque du Soleil show “Michael Jackson: The Immortal World Tour” in Las Vegas, the movie “This Is It,” his albums and other stuff. But Bigi Jackson isn’t moisturizing his luxurious mane with liquefied canary diamonds just yet.

After expenses and taxes and other gross shit, that $2 billion gets cut down all the way to $450 million. $450 million is still $450 million, but before his death, MJ spent like me when I got my first Capital One credit card and put himself in $500 million debt. But thanks to that $450 million, his estate is almost out of the red. That $2 billion doesn’t include the money the estate makes from Sony and other things. MJ’s kids also have a trust that they get to dip into when they get older. Some source (probably Bubbles) claims that if the estate got liquidated today, each one of MJ’s kids would get $100 million each.

So, MJ’s estate made billions of dollars just from using his name, likeness and music. This is going to give them ideas and it won’t be long before they reanimate his corpse and send him out on a world tour with the Tupac hologram. If they do that, I hope Rebbie Jackson opens for them, because I really need to see “Centipede” live.

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