Lindsay Lohan Wants To Live In London Forever

June 24, 2015 / Posted by:

Bad news for London, good news for everywhere else in the world. Hollywood and NYC’s former freckled ex-con queen Lindsay Lohan, seen blowing grimy air kisses to her subjects above, is currently reigning over London and it sounds like she wants to make it a permanent thing. The Apricot Ashtray recently spoke to HELLO! (via Daily Mail) about her new life in London and her master plan to usurp Princess Beatrice’s throne as England’s semi-employed party girl ginger.

“I can definitely see myself settling in London permanently. I’m in a really good place. I’m blessed to have been able to do a play in London and start a different way of life. New York is very fast paced and it’s not like that over here for me. You grow up and change, and I’m really happy about that, as overall I feel a lot better. Moving here was a new start for me and my outlook on life is different now. For me, I feel more comfortable working from London.”

Lindsay continued: “Like, it’s so much easier and more comfortable to hock shit on Insatgram from a place where I’m not constantly trying to dodge people I owe money to or tried to rob.

Because Lindsay wants to live in London (The Sandlot voice) FOR-EV-UR, she says she’s interested in becoming a British citizen. We know Lohan is a pro at taking breathalyzer tests, but I don’t know how she’ll do in a citizenship test. Ha! As if she’s even worried about that. She probably thinks playing a British kid in The Parent Trap and saying “Cheers, mate” every time she bums a cigarette guarantees her some kind of diplomatic immunity.

Here’s London’s forever problem – or at least London’s problem until she gets arrested a bunch of times and flees to another country – having a smoke puffing on a fag yesterday.


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