Because daddy gets to do whatever daddy wants on Father’s Day,
Father of the Year Deadbeat Daddy of the Decade Charlie Sheen spent his Father’s Day being an asshole on Twitter. Uh, Happy Father’s Day?
Rather than waking up to a whole bunch of home-made paper ties and enjoying breakfast in bed, Charlie woke up from the pile of cigarette ash and stanky porn star thongs he slept in the night before, hopped on Twitter, and hissed like a barely-coherent methed-up snake at the mother of two of his children, Denise Richards. Charlie’s Father’s Day message, which has since been deleted – because apparently there’s at least one small shred of shame left in his body – was written in his signature crackhead free verse. So, just a heads up to those of you who get a headache every time you read the shit Charlie Sheen writes.
Brooke M is a
sexy rok star whom
heretic washed up
Happy Father’s Day!!!
“Piglet“? Sounds like someone is a fan of fellow angry daddy Alec Baldwin’s work. Charlie followed that up with an “Open letter to the media” about Denise (which has also since been deleted), and it’s…well, let’s just say that it makes about as much sense as you’d expect it to make. I’ve condensed it, because if I hadn’t, all the breaks between words would have broken your brain.
“open letter to the media: Denise Richards is a shake down piece of shit doosh phace & worst mom alive! a despicable charlatan who sux ISIs ass!!!! (and cock) fuck it. I’m out. I have paid that Klay-Vinnik leaky diaper over 30 Mil and she calls me a DbD! see u in court you evil terrorist sack of landfill rash.
bitch couldn’t act hot in a fire or wet in a pool. you should all hear her acting lessons: sounds like dolphins sucking off Coyotes!!! this gangster Sheenius will be Winning! Duh!! really grandma? I’m the ARCHITECT OF THE TERM YOU LEAKY AND MALARIA RIDDLED PUDDLE OF SHIT STINK DECAY!! and now I’m out.
last note; this lab rat is from a retarded shit hole named “Downers Grove” nothing further your Honor hash tag go fuk Sambora some more you “Dood thief”. that genius called me 1000 times to ask “how can I get the ass funk to be less, ass-funky”. the only answer I had was to tell him to “steep” that hedgehog in bleach…” twice a day for a year. fukker whore. and hey Irv; go fuk yourself pussy bitch. I am the truth you are my enemy. try me. I dubble dare ya. skinny boy face
Sir © of the Sheen is on stand by”
Good LORD what was all of that? I’d ask for a translator, but I don’t know if there’s anyone out there who is that fluent in crazy. Even Charles Manson would read that and be like, “I’m sorry, but this is a vernacular I’m not familiar with.”
Calling someone a “leaky diaper” and an “evil terrorist sack of landfill rash” is one thing, because obviously that’s just the dried rat poison and vodka talking. But I take great umbrage with that swipe about Denise’s acting. Bitch couldn’t act hot in a fire or wet in a pool? How DARE he! Does the name Becky Ann Leeman mean nothing to him?
Denise Richards later took a tiny swipe back at Charlie by Tweeting (then deleting) the following:
“Happy Dad’s Day! @charliesheen have a great trip in Mexico! Kids were disappointed u weren’t here for it- Hey we’ll celebrate when u r back!”
I guess she realized that summoning Charlie Sheen by uttering his name over Twitter would only bring bad juju, so she yanked it and replaced with with a tweet about Poppa Irv and a retweet from Leeza Gibbons about ignoring negative people. “Negative“? That’s probably one of the kinder words used to describe Charlie Sheen.