First You Ruin Star Wars, Then You Ruin Public Safety

June 21, 2015 / Posted by:

I’m kidding, of course. It was George Lucas who destroyed Star Wars. Meesa think Jake Lloyd probably had no idea that his precocious 9-year-old self would fire the first bullet into the back of a beloved franchise’s head. I have faith in you, J.J. Abrams. Even though that lightsaber’s construction makes no sense and would probably take the user’s thumbs off at some point, I have faith. Oh, where was I? Sorry, the nerdery is strong with this one. Oh, right – Jake Lloyd.

Lloyd was driving his pod racer in Charleston, SC when the local deputies began to pursue him. Instead of pulling over and explaining that George Lucas ruined his life, too, Jake reportedly took off. Perhaps thinking he was still racing CGI space vehicles, young Anakin led the cops on a lengthy chase into the next county.

Law enforcement sez that Jake was driving crazy fast and passing cars on the double yellow line. So basically he was driving like he lived here in Boston. Eventually he lost control, ran off the road, smashed through a fence, and then murdered some trees. He was arrested and charged with reckless driving, failure to stop, resisting arrest and driving without a license. In Jake’s defense, the cops aren’t this anal on Tatooine.

Lloyd has publicly blamed Lucas for ruining his life by casting him in Star Wars:  Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace, so meesa thinks former child actor is troubled.

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